I'm drinking my coffee, looking at the end table I got from my grandma's house when she died. You've probably seen them, early American style from the 1960's that has a cover that opens to hide the TV Guide in. Except that no one gets TV Guide anymore. At my grandma's it held that, Time Magazine, a lighter that you had to refill with real butane, and her Benson and Hedges cigarettes. My table is special though because it has four big fingernail scratches in it that I put there by accident.
Ok, not by accident exactly...a damp washcloth got left on the table, resulting in a foggy white residue, which I thought I could scrape off. It wasn't until the next morning that I noticed the white residue was gone, with only four deep nail marks remaining. Hmm...in my efforts to fix a problem I made it worse. Ever done that before?
Ever yelled at your kids to be quiet because the baby is sleeping, and woken the baby up yourself? Ever been so frustrated with someone that you just start eating all the crunchy salty things in the house when you know you should just stop? Have you ever felt so sad because the one who is supposed to love you without question has changed his mind? So sad that you go in search of attention elsewhere, just to prove someone will still notice?
Looking at the scratches in my coffee table got me thinking about the things we do to fix the hurts, to handle the frustrations, to heal the damage. Most of the time, our decisions come from a place of pain and desperation, of longing for significance and intimacy. I have to be honest and tell you, the ways I have tried to fix my own issues have fallen flat, before I knew where to go.
It is in knowing who Jesus is that makes the difference. I know Him as Healer, so I don't have to try and heal myself through channels that just make it worse. Or at best, don't really suffice, just distract. In His own words, He came to bring good news to the poor, comfort the broken-hearted, set the captives free from the things that imprison us, and give sight to the blind.(Isaiah 61, Luke 4). He came to fill the empty places that separate us from God when we try to fix things ourselves. He came to show us that He alone is the Way.
I could go on for hours...days...the rest of my life...telling you Who He is and what He means to me in my life, how He has lifted my blindness to see life through His eyes, how He set me free from the things that imprisoned me, that I can't make my own way to Heaven by being good, and that I can't unearn my way when I'm not good...and how He is waiting for you to know Him as Lord...but the day is calling. The kids are needing me to pay some attention to them. Let me finish by saying that I am praying for you, that you might come to know Jesus as Lord...as the All-Sufficient Creator of you.
He knows what you need, and is knocking on the door of the emptiness that envelopes you...waiting. Will you let Him in?